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For purposes of my semester project, I am not currently using social media. This post is an analysis of my typical social media usage.
If you looked at my Facebook page, you would probably think I don't have a filter. For the most part, I do not. I was a stay at home mother for a very long time and had no boss to answer to, so never worried about what my social media presence would say to an employer.

Online, I am witty, never at a loss for words. My humor is sarcastic and sometimes self-deprecating. Aside from the rare mention, You might not even know that I am married unless you looked at my "In a Relationship" section. You are warned right off that I may not be your cup of tea, with my pronouncement that, "I am mean, crass, and rude. You wouldn't like me." If that's not enough, there's my cover photo...

My profile pictures are usually carefully crafted.

She seems fun, I'd want to hang out with her

My Facebook is a representation of myself that has her life together. She isn't worried about the decisions her kids are making. She isn't sleep deprived. School may be a challenge, but she's got it handled. She's fearless and always up for an adventure.
What you don't see are the same problems, worries, challenges, disappointments that every other person has. I'm terrified of heights. I've had panic attacks during races. My kids aren't perfect. And I'm just waiting for school to figure out that I don't belong here. I am incredibly vulnerable in  my everyday life, so I do not let those vulnerabilities bleed into my Facebook profile

 If "the medium is the message," Facebook and other social media accounts allow me to send the message that I am bolder than I may seem in person. This is not a false identity, but more a fragment of my identity. I am bold and outgoing, in the right setting. I censor myself based on circumstances. My husband's employer does not need to know that my favorite cuss word is "motherfucker," so I that part of me stays home when there are office functions. When I'm with my friends, that part of my personality comes out

 And while I will tell you I'm mean and you wouldn't like me, the truth is that I'm one of the most loyal and loving friends a person could have. I started running almost 10 years ago, even though I hated everything about running at the time, to honor a friend. When I started doing triathlons, I did one in honor of my best friend's son, who died at the age of 17. My heart still aches over that loss. Next year, we are teaming up and doing this again on what should have been his 21st birthday.

So, it might be easy to think I'm different online, if you got to know me, you would see that I'm not THAT different. Facebook just gets the highlight reels


Edited to add:
When I was telling a close friend about this post, we started talking about my social media hiatus. He stated that he couldn't wait for my return and I replied: "I miss social media SO BAD!" We talked about how my initial thoughts going into my experiment were that Facebook was a time waster, but now I've come to view it as a lifeline. His response was: "I'm interested in what caused you to change your mind. You're a tough cookie." - So, even someone who is as close as family, and knows all my insecurities and flaws, still sees me as a "tough cookie," when most of the time I feel more like a hot mess.